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Homosexuality in the Arab world is a topic therefore volatile that in some countries death is the penalty. nevertheless gradually and really cautiously gay Arabs are setting out of the closet with increasing confidence. Spanning across twenty two countries with a combined population of 323 million, the Arab world isn't only connected through its language but is additionally linked through various gay Arab websites, chat rooms, and blogs.

However, for gay Arab Americans, even if they live with a lot of larger personal freedoms they usually still find themselves conflicted between their sexual, religious, ethnic/cultural and national identities. Meet Issam Khoury of Washington, DC and Ramy Eletreby of l. a.. They each are gay Arab men but every with a very totally different path and background. however each men have a remarkable clarity and an agreement on the crucial issues which impact them the most.

Issam Khoury

A refugee by birth and by war, Issam Khoury has seen and experienced a broad cross-section of the world. both of his oldsters were born and raised in Palestine but owing to the politics surrounding the Israeli occupation, Issam was forced to be born and raised in Kuwait till the age of thirteen. "I learned what it meant to differ in being in Kuwait as a result of as a non Kuwait you are always perceived different" he explains.

But when Iraq invaded Kuwait in 1990, Issam's family was forced to live in Cypress where Issam finished his schooling. again he felt the unspoken words and perception of being different in another country.

As a youth Issam began to become more alert to his burgeoning homosexuality. "I perpetually knew i was drawn to men. I knew from the times when I was living in Kuwait which to me debunks the parable that a lot of Arabs would love to own that this does not exist in our part of the world as a result of it will. when I moved to Cypress in 95' I found myself turning into sexually active and that is how I knew that this was here to stay" he reveals.

Issam later attended faculty within the US, initial graduating from Virginia Tech, then onward to Ohio State to earn a masters degree and then forward to american University where he's currently earning a doctorate in cultural studies.

He admits that it wasn't till faculty that he started to become absolutely conscious of his identity as an "outwardly gay man and not somebody who engages in sex with alternative men" he explains. In some ways his school years helped him to adopt a holistic identity that was associated with his sexual orientation, however this was solely the primary step.

He reveals that his journey still was "very troublesome as a result of I have no examples i do not have any James Baldwin's we do not have any Gloria Anzaldua's, we do not have any of these within the Arab community. There are gay individuals out there and they are out and they're proud, however they are doing not write, they are doing not represent, they need not laid the muse for a community in the same method that yank ethnic communities have had on varying levels."

As a result, Issam found nurturing support at intervals the African american community adding that he was "adopted" by many black people which "in the black community...I found my identity as a person of color.

I really found my identity as a gay man of color through reading E. Lynn Harris. I found it inspiring to examine men of color loving different men and color. I found my identity and what it may be to be during a relationship with another man of color and the way lovely that would be and how celebrated that would be while not having to be ashamed of it."

In terms of his Arab identity, Issam says that he found his Arabic-self through his masters degree program at Ohio State where he studied Arab literature. He overtly admits that he had a "big aversion" to white people after being called a "sand nigger, camel jockey, and towel head" during his school years. thus this new academic program gave him both affirmation and confirmation of who he really was, so casting away all labels and stereotypes.

"It was in my masters program that I found myself as an Arab man" he proudly states. However, the reconciliation of being Arab, Gay and Christian was still a long, arduous and complex process. when starting to his parents, he we have a tendency to went back into the closet for 6 years.

"It took chat for arabs plenty of internal work on behalf of me to merge my Arabic and my gay identities. It took plenty of soul searching, it took lots of research; delving into the problem of Arabic and gay however it's extremely slow. we've plenty problems with pride in Arabic community and pride is said to family honor and if somebody is gay then you shame family honor and therefore these problems aren't widely talked regarding but discussed in closed circles" he shares.

Because of his journey of transformation and reconciliation Issam decided to enroll in an exceedingly cultural studies doctoral program as a result of he recognized that he belonged to too several numerous teams to limit himself to only one identity or concentration. "The u. s. thrives on identity politics; it is the capital of what I decision the check box on the appliance because you mostly have to be one thing you always have to be categorized as one thing."

Further, Issam's own diversity and his desire to find out concerning the range of others led him out of his personal check box. he's a member of a black fraternity and is currently learning to talk Spanish, all in a shot to broaden his exposure and understanding of culture and diversity.

Ramy Eletreby

Born and raised in sunny Southern California behind the conservative and affluent curtain of Orange County, Ramy Eletreby, who is of Egyptian descent, grew up the youngest of 3 kids. whereas both of his oldsters were born and raised in Egypt, Ramy's perspective includes a distinct american flair. He says that he was raised "conservative and Muslim" which his upbringing has helped shaped him to where he's nowadays.

Ramy's gay awakening really began around the age of 15. He remembers attending a play in los angeles that centered around boxing. during a locker room scene, one of the boxers really showered on stage. it was Ramy's initial time seeing a unadorned man.

"I was flustered and blushing and every one that stuff and that i simply knew that if I had a reaction like that it should mean one thing. I never had such a powerful reaction of anybody like that. I could not avert my eyes but deep down I knew I shouldn't be enjoying it."

Interestingly enough, Ramy didn't act out sexually on his urges. Instead he went through a personal journey seeking to reconcile his sexuality together with his Muslim beliefs. "I went through lots of self exploration, plenty queries, and a lot of confusion" he explains.

Similar to Arabic chat the path of the many different gays, Ramy eventually mustered up enough courage to start popping out to his friends. when an eight year amount he had take off to just about everyone in his life with the exception of his family, but that was near to change in a very public manner in the summer of 2005.

A budding actor, Ramy decided to simply accept a task at a Hollywood theater portraying a gay Arab. but bound Arab community teams found out of the play and its gay content and started to protest. Meanwhile the LA Times bloodhounds sniffed out the story and surrounded down playhouse to try to to what eventually became a major news story regarding the play, its gay content, the controversy, and the undeniable fact that its lead actor, Ramy was a gay man.

When the story hit, Ramy estimates it took four individuals reading it before the news was promptly delivered to his oldsters. extra attention came when Advocate Magazine also did a diffusion on him. it had been an extremely stressful and an emotionally raw time for him, but these days he's out to everybody and living his life authentically.

And when many years of wrestling with each his spirituality and his sexuality, Ramy has finally found the peace that he's been sorting out since he was 15. "I've simply come to the conclusion that not everything is ideal. This religion that i used to be raised in isn't perfect" he explains. He adds that individuals who subscribe to a non secular belief system should "apply however a lot of you can apply to your life and since i know I cannot modification certain facts regarding who i'm....if i choose to possess a faith like Islam it has to be the maximum amount as I will take of it."

Today Ramy Arab chat works for a gay publication in la where he says it has helped him to find his gay identity. However, he sees no back and forth competing of his multiple identities of being gay, Arab, and Muslim. "I've never allowed it to be a fight; it's just a part of my daily reality. i'm an Arab yank who happens to be raised Muslim who considers himself for the most half Muslim however i am an american who is of Arab descent."

He adds that "your identity is who you're at any given moment. there's never every day where i am not Muslim or don't not view myself as a product of Muslims. i'm able to go through daily and notice that parts of my determine are speaking up and the way I will filter those to come to a centered stop process through any given situation."

Advice to Young Gay Arabs

While Issam and Ramy were able to move higher than and beyond the conflicts of their multiple identities, there are many other young gay Arabs who are still baffled by it and struggle with it daily.

Issam provides this piece of advice to gay Arab youth. "You don't seem to be alone, you're not the only gay Arab person out there. you are not the only young man or young girl who's combating this. notice where the parable is; notice the fact and where the 2 separate. Do your research. Dispel the myths for yourself."

Ramy agrees adding that "the solely person who you really got to listen to is yourself. you cannot permit people that have taught you as a toddler, or your oldsters, or members of the family, non secular scholars, siblings, friends. you can't allow folks to make decisions about your life and what's right concerning you without you concerned. so do not act outside of your best interest."